A crush for me is someone that I look at and I'm willing to pursue. I've not had many crushes...I don't feel as thought I should have to pursue a man...however I may try to lure him in.
There was this one guy though, one guy that I tried to go after on my own. I prayed one of those selfish prayers that I pray when I want things to go exactly how I want even though the situation is absolutely opposite of my own good...like I'm praying against myself on purpose. Needless to say God loves me too much to answer my selfish prayers. But now this is becoming about me instead of a letter to him...
So...
Dear "Perfection",
I put you on a pedestal and I admire you from a far off. I wasn't always this nervous about talking to you until I realized how much I liked you. Now when I see you it seems as though you're walking in blurry, hazey slow motion. You fill my line of sight, I'm deaf to all other sounds, you touch me and my knees fail...good thing you're hugs sweep me off my feet (literally). You're embrace is warm and playful...uhhhh...but puh-leez stop kissing my cheeks with those lucious lips!That really isn't fair! You like my ears and pinch them between your perfectly square lovely white teeth. I can't stand it and I ask you to stop because I really don't want you to...because I really want some more commitment then a nick-name, hugs and kisses. I want you all to myself even though I know you only like the way I look and like the way I smell, but that's not enough for you to be more than just "Perfection". I want to know what makes you imperfect...I want the real human you and not my perfect fantasy.So by now I'm sooo desperate to have you in my life I just go ahead and tell you via facebook message. You brush it off like it's not that serious...you don't like me like that. I'm crushed...guess that's where the name comes from. I built you up so high and mighty that when your words came tumbling down I had little shelter...crushed. Then some time later you rant about a fit of jealously when you saw me with a mutual friend of ours. I couldn't believe my ears because the timing was just awful. I had just been dumped and that's far worse than being crushed because I invested so much time...then you call me and I really think you're stupid and I hate you a little for wasting my time. Eventually wounds heal...but I don't feel like pursuing you any more. I still think you are the best looking guy that I've ever met because you meet all of my top qualifications.
*Sigh*
Tall...dark brown...dark eyes...deep voice...muscular...humorous...happy.
Don't get me wrong. I don't hunt for guys that look like this but you are exactly what I've always wanted...but I guess I don't know myself as well as God does. Or at least you weren't the guy who met my higher specifications. Smh...I've got to do better.
Ah well, I hope you're happy and that God blesses you even if He doesn't bless you with me.
Love,
Me
P.S. (Please...)
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